Restoring the Fallen and Other
Relationships with Restitution
Both articles, videos and audios at
Year 1 Semester 1 # 6


Resources for this teaching:
"Healing and Deliverance" and "Transformation of the Inner Man" by John and Paula Sandford.

"Restoring the Fallen” a team approach to caring, confronting and reconciling by 3 couples - Wilson, Friesen and Paulson

Review these scripture references: Law Ex 22, and Lev 6 and Prov 6 on restitution. Luke 19 Zaccheus fulfilled the law, healing others and honoring Jesus.


Click to order this
8 part DVD resource

Remorse alone is a feeling of sorrow but is not true repentance.

  1. Saulish remorse or embarrassment and desire to save face. 1 Sam 13 and 15
  2. Davidic repentance and a broken heart for hurting God and others. 2 Sam 12
  3. How to help others come to full surrender and repentance to the Holy Spirit.

Retribution: Wanting revenge to get even or demanding payback.

Restitution: Helps the victim as you restore what has been broken or stolen plus some.

  1. Helps to heal the wounds
  2. Helps to restore love, trust and relationship
  3. Helps the victim to be able to forgive.

Restitution: Helps the offender agree with God about sin and the damage it has caused.

  1. To feel the pain of the damage caused.
  2. To bring to death sinful fleshly structures and habits.
  3. To write on our heart the price of our actions.

Levels of Restitution: i.e. broken mower, deception, stealing, unfaithfulness

Restoring the Fallen with Intense Ministry Teams

  1. Poll: majority agreed leaders should submit to an accountability team
  2. Bring hope to those who are broken and disillusioned
  3. Guide and direct shattered families and congregations]
  4. Encourage honesty, humility, respect, restoration and restitution

Three common reactions to the fallen

  1. Cast the sinner out, turn him over to Satan, no responsibility to restore
  2. Ignore the sin, pretending it never happened, not judging, just love them
  3. Forgive and forget without ministering to them or their victims

Common Reactions of the fallen

  1. Chooses to deny, minimize, excuse, blame, feel remorse but does not repent
  2. Pretends to repent and receives a pseudo restoration
  3. Truly repents, is willing to do restitution and is truly restored

Restoration with Restitution according to Gal 6

  1. Honesty - Examine and deal honestly with the truth regarding the sin
  2. Humility - Minister to all until there is complete and true repentance
  3. Respect - Establish God’s spiritual principles and disciplines in their heart
  4. Restoration – Rebuild love in damaged relationships with understanding
  5. Restitution – Rebuild trust in relationships with service and accountability

Ingredients of Intense Ministry

  1. To initiate frequent communication with all parties
  2. To pray scripture regularly for all parties.
  3. To meet with the whole team monthly and then quarterly
  4. To consult with others who are more experienced in restoration
  5. To hold accountable: confession, resignation, counseling appointments

Characteristics of Restoration Ministers

· 4-6 members - should be approved by the offender

· Emotionally and spiritually mature

· Compassionate and empathetic – not sympathetic

· Honest, keeps confidences and is trustworthy

· Able to confront hard issues without being intimidated

· Strongly committed to God’s truth and spiritual laws

· Willing to commit time, finances and energy

· Prays Gethsemane prayers, bearing their burden and suffering

· Will to endure guilt by association

· Ready to deal with attacks on their own relationships

Issues – I can do it, secrecy, tolerance, patterns, submission, consequences, forgiveness

  1. Replacing unhealthy self-effort patterns with healthy spiritual patterns
  2. Root out secret practices that have been purposely hidden or covered up
  3. Work within the local church community for more support to remain accountable
  4. Deal with unhealthy family patterns without shifting guilt to the family
  5. Establish long-term submission to authority resulting in trust
  6. Embrace the pain of consequences of sin and grow up
  7. Receive forgiveness but listen, not expecting them to be healed instantly

True Repentance is tough

  1. Calls sin “sin” without rationalizing or keeping the life-style
  2. Bridges must be burned with old friends who must go
  3. Triggers and open doors to sin again must go
  4. Submits to counseling for root symptoms and root causes

Rebuilding Relationships is a long process

  1. Denial, avoidance, fatigue, depression, growth, setbacks, anger, bitterness, loneliness, rejection, guilt, hate…
  2. Honesty is the foundation for new ways of relating
  3. Truth telling will finally end in more confidence
  4. Welcoming change and seeing yourself and others differently
  5. Let honesty grow with tangible evidences of change

Helping the family

  1. The family knows they are secure and safe when calling a team member
  2. The family knows the team is stable and committed
  3. The family knows the team will support them in their stand against wrong
  4. The family is challenged spiritually also – to be an expression of God’s heart

Copyright   Carlotta Waldmann   Cross Walk Life, Inc.   501 (c)(3)

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