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NowFaith.TV Ministry Training School
Year 3 Semester 2 #21 at www.NowFaith.TV

Interview With a Survivor of Abuse:
How Do Abusers Get Away With It?

One of our precious volunteers, Pam, a survivor of abuse, was willing to be interviewed about abuse and child abusers. Please take time to R click on these audio links and save them in your audio library. Her first passion is to encourage survivors to believe that there is hope for radical healing and restoration in Jesus. She also strongly encourages friends and neighbors who suspect abuse to take time to report it, even if they do it anonymously. What a shock it was to her when she found out that all of her extended family and friends knew she was being abused and not one reported her abuser over a period of several years!!

The Center for Sexual Assault reports that 1 out of 4 females and 1 out of 7 males experience unwanted sexual contact. That means that in any church or group of people, probably at least 1 out of 6 people have needed or still need healing prayer for sexual trauma.

In our last Issue-Focused Workshop, at the end of our session on prayer for survivors of abuse, a teen voluntarily came forward and tearfully told how difficult her life had been as she tried to find safety, self-worth, will power, initiative, identity, trust, control and comfort during her years of child abuse. (Her testimony will be shared - probably in July - with the DVDs of the "Issue-Focused Workshop 06/01/09".)

What is the Profile of a Child Abuser?

The news if full of stories of missing children and accusations about abuse and I am concerned that we do not panic and begin to be suspicious of good upstanding men (or women.) On the other hand, we need to become more aware of the ploys of the devil to kill, steal and destroy our children.

Many a man (or woman) has attached themselves to a family and then their little children. They may have volunteered to solve all her childcare problems. It sounded too good to be true and it was. Sure enough, law enforcement verified that they were a convicted pedophile. While I will be the first one to believe that anyone can be forgiven and restored, they still had no business trying to spend days alone with anyone's children. If they had truly repented, they would not have asked to be trusted with childcare.

How can we tell if such "helpful generous" people are grooming children for abuse? How can caring prayer ministers learn to discern true serving helpers from perpetrators with a perverted hidden agenda? We have to ask God to give us spiritual eyes to see and discern.

What you do see:

Neighbors, teachers, youth leaders, day care workers, fathers, uncles, brothers (who maybe respected in the community.)
What you don't see: Dark, menacing, evil-looking people.

*Sexual abusers appear as average members of your community, they are most often the people in your lives, not the stranger in the bushes. 92% target those they know.
What you do see:
A charming, intelligent, helping person.
What you don't see:

Usually immature, socially inadequate individuals who seek positions or people that trust them with access to children.

*What abusers really seek are non-threatening situations where they can feel expansive and in control.

What you do see:

A very helpful, giving person who spends his energy and money to help meet the needs of our family.
What you don't see:
A master manipulator who ingratiates himself to others to trap them.

*Convicted abusers reveal that single-mother environments are prime targets, explaining, “I would always be there for them

What you do see:

A very attentive person who goes out of his way to spend time with your child, giving them money or gifts.

What you don't see:

A deliberate, methodical plan to build trust and break down barriers little by little.

Convicted abusers admit to spending months, even years
"grooming" their victims with normal behavior that progresses to accidental touching (i.e., while wrestling), gradually seeing how far they can go.

What you do see:
A normal-looking, caring adolescent or adult.
What you don't see:

A person who is (unconsciously ?) motivated to meet selfish needs through the children. He does not care about the effects of the abuse on the children. He denies and/or blames the child if he is caught.

*Most abusers admit they count on the child's inability and unwillingness to tell. They convince themselves the child will not remember or was not hurt because they are a sexual being and they are enjoying it.

Myth: You can tell an abuser by looking at them.

God is ready to heal the abused and abuser as well. We stand read to partner with Him to provide the healing, freedom and restoration that you need. If you need healing, please Contact Us.



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Copyright Carlotta Waldmann Cross Walk Life, Inc. 501 (c)(3)

Cross Walk Life, Inc. is here to provide insights, healing, teaching and training,
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have the passion of Christ, to be equipped to fulfill your God given destiny.

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