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NowFaith.TV Ministry Training School
Year 1 Semester 1 #12 at www.NowFaith.TV

Rightly Handling Feelings and Emotions

How do you minister to those who do not know how to handle their emotions?
Before you read this, test your methods for handling negative feelings.

Which methods would you say are wrong ways to deal with negative feelings?

Just forget it, leaving the former things behind.

Stuff it and put on a happy face, knowing that if I do not express it, it will soon go away.

Confess that I am fine or OK until my confession feels like it is actually the truth.
Act out violent actions or words against inanimate objects, in order to weaken negative emotions.
Say what others want to hear or do what others want me to do, protecting their emotions first.
Make a quick decision that will take pressure off before anyone finds out what I really feel.

Give others a piece of my mind, judge, accuse or blame while my negative feelings are still intense enough to do it.

Jesus demonstrated how to handle very troublesome feelings when He went to the Garden of Gethsemane. He went to select friends, shared in a private place, poured out His heart with honesty, kept sharing even though they didn't understand and chose to do what the Father said to do -- even though His feelings said not to obey because it would hurt.

The truth is that we can not control spontaneous feelings but we can choose what we allow to become an emotion. A feeling becomes an emotion when we add an belief and/or behavior to it. Feelings are valuable indicators that an adjustment needs to be made. We can pray and help people identify their feelings and choose what they will believe and what they will do.

Here are examples of negative feelings people often share when they request prayer. If you cover the right side, you can test yourself and see what you would suggest that a person pray and believe. Remember, we can choose what we let become an emotion -- which includes beliefs and behaviors. In prayer, we can help others to make Holy Spirit-led choices.

Pretend someone comes to you with these feelings, wanting ministry.

Feeling Inadequate and Inferior?
What emotion (belief and behavior) will you choose?

Negative belief or behavior

I choose Godly beliefs and behaviors

If I try to step out, I will fail again. Success is stepping out to obey God in faith.
My family/friends will discourage me. I choose to believe God's truth about my future.
My contributions will be rejected. I am a valuable contributing member of the team.
I never have the money to succeed. God will provide for what He wants done through me.
I have to meet people's expectations. My self-worth is not based on the opinions of others.
The struggle will be too hard for me. I choose to operate in God's power, not my own.
I will disappoint or hurt people. I choose to obey God and leave the results to Him.
I am not trained and equipped. God provides the training that I need to do His will.
If I fail, I will lose God's approval. God always loves me apart from my performance.
I don't have the gifts that I will need. The Holy Spirit inside me has every gift and fruit.

Feeling controlled and dominated?
What emotion (belief and behavior) will you choose?

Negative belief or behavior

I choose Godly beliefs and behaviors

I have to do what other people say. My responsibility is to obey God's Holy Spirit.
If I obey God it makes people angry. Everyone is responsible for their own sinful reactions.
I am easily controlled by criticism. God loves me and accepts me unconditionally.
It is not safe to share negative feelings. I; my feelings are valid and important.
I have to make everyone happy. I do and say what Father God says to do and say.
Isolate and avoid unwanted advice. I can discern the Godly advice as God provides.
People will not agree with my vision. Other people's choices do not dictate who I am.
If we disagree, I must be wrong. I choose to be free of the fear of confrontation.
I don't have options or choices. I choose to say 'yes' to God and 'no' to distractions.
If it needs to be done, I have to do it. I repent of false responsibility and fleshly choices.

Feeling depressed and discouraged?
What emotion (belief and behavior) will you choose?

Negative belief or behavior

I choose Godly beliefs and behaviors

I dwell on what might go wrong. God works all things for good for His purposes.
I can't speak to people or groups. If God says to open my mouth, He will fill it.
My interests and motivation are low. I receive God's vision, purposes and power.
I am not able to concentrate anymore. Meditating on Bible verses is renewing my mind.
I can't forgive offenses of the past. As I forgive others, I am set free of my own past.
If others know me they will reject me. I choose to accept my uniqueness, talents and gifts.
No one will ever love and accept me. I am loving and loveable as I receive God's love.
I failed; I deserve to be punished. Jesus took my punishment and totally forgave me.
It is not OK for me to express anger. Anger is a sign that an adjustment needs to be made.
This is the way I am; there's no hope. God is renewing my mind and restoring my soul.

Feeling trapped by a sense of duty?
What emotion (belief and behavior) will you choose?

Negative belief or behavior

I choose Godly beliefs and behaviors

I have to fix everyone's problems. I choose to trust God to be the Savior of the world.
I have to meet the standards of others. I am totally acceptable apart from my performance.
I am unworthy and the most unlikely. Jesus Christ imparted great value and worth to me.
I am only able to do menial tasks. I can do anything God asks of me - in His strength.
I will always be taken advantage of. I am called to be a servant but not a doormat.
I rescue people from consequences. I choose to ask God what my assignment is.
I'd rather do it myself than confront. I allow others to be responsible and accountable.
My preferences are never important. God is expressing what He wants through me.
I will be criticized and unappreciated. I receive God's passion for what He wants me to do.
I deny my own needs until I burn-out. I have grace and energy to do what God asks of me.

Feeling Abused and Intimidated?
What emotion (belief and behavior) will you choose?

Negative belief or behavior

I choose Godly beliefs and behaviors

Submission means tolerating abuse. Godly submission does not have to say yes to abuse.
Exposing abuse only makes it worse. Spirits of intimidation thrive in darkness and secrets.
I resent people who take advantage. I repent of resentment and set healthy boundaries.
I am to blame for the abuse I get.. I am free to reject false guilt and to expect respect.
Don't share, don't tell, don't ask. Godly counsel will give me healthy perspectives.
I shouldn't get angry at manipulation. Abusive demons "back off" when I say NO.
Their reaction will ruin my future. Their choices cannot limit God's faithfulness to me.
Everything I do and say is wrong. I have the mind of Christ and make wise choices.
I never have normal relationships. I believe God for loving Spirit-filled relationships.
I am shameful and defective. God is redeeming every experience and healing me.

Prayers for learning to handle emotions at www.NowFaith.TV

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