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Having a good father, who is a
spiritual father, is one of our
greatest needs.
In
my opinion, one of our greatest
problems today is that people are
going into life, into ministry or
leadership of some kind without ever
having been mentored or fathered
themselves. I believe that the
role of fathers today has been
degraded in the public eye to the
point that we have almost lost the
vision for the critical role fathers
play. Appropriate affectionate
touch and affirmation, from a good
father who is a spiritual father,
are probably the largest factors in
building strong personal spirits
into our lives. Without the
affirmation of our fathers, we will
wander looking for our identity in
many other places and perform for
acceptance. Here are some thoughts
about good spiritual fathers.
It
is on our father's knee that we
learn that we are the apple of
his eye - and God's eye. We learn
that we are a delight, a pleasure
and that we are desirable to be
with. He communicates our value as
a contributing member of the family,
the community and the body of
Christ. Being received by him,
gives us the confidence we need to
live fully out of our true
identity. We have courage, based on
what our Heavenly Father says about
us instead of performing to win the
approval of everyone else.
We
are not lured into sin with
flattery, because our Father has
affirmed our God given purpose,
gifting, talent and callings in
life. We are secure in bonded
relationships and able to trust God
when Satan's cheap easy counterfeits
come along to lure us with empty
promises. We are able to minister
out of health and stability that is
based on God's truth.
If
you have been blessed with such a
Father, please let him know how
fortunate you are. If you are
hurting as you read this, its not
too late to ask God for a spiritual
father (or mother) to re-parent you
and love you with God's agape love.
Ask God for discernment to know who
has a fathering heart, so you will
be blessed and loved to life (vs.
rejected again.)
ASK GOD TO BLESS YOU WITH A
GOOD SPIRITUAL FATHER TOO!
You can
pray for your own father or
spiritual father by loosing him from
fleshly traits and binding him to
the heart of God and to His
character.
If you
have been hurt by an uncaring
religious leader, ask God for a good
father who is a true spiritual
father. If you are afraid to choose
one for yourself, the following
comparison between a spiritual
father and someone who is just a
religious leader, may help you to
discern a true father and their
motivations. Some of these thoughts
are taken from the book, "Mentoring
and Fathering" by Schultz and
Gaborit and some from "Restoring the
Christian Family" by John Sandford.
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GOOD SPIRITUAL FATHER |
FLESHLY FATHER |
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Takes his own wounds to
Jesus for healing |
Takes his hurts out of
the nearest person |
|
Takes his fleshly
reactions to the cross
|
Automatic reactions w/o
leading of the Spirit |
|
Forgives others, God and
himself |
Holds resentment,
judgments, bitterness |
|
Takes responsibility for
sins he sown |
Blames others for what
he is reaping |
|
Honors
and respects his
authorities |
Undermines his own
authority with dishonor |
|
Is flexible and led of
the Holy Spirit |
Under fleshly inner vows
in his own strength |
|
Believes the best,
believes in you |
Has bitter expectations
that you will fail again |
|
Confesses the sins of
his fathers |
Repeats the sins of his
fathers and more |
|
Touch,
time, gifts, help, on
your side
|
Loves you the way he
wants to receive love |
|
Hears God, is in
agreement with Mom |
Controls, dominates,
competes, pouts |
|
Appreciates/respects the
opposite sex |
Undermines
feminine contributions |
|
Encourages you for your
own good |
Flatters you and
manipulates for his
agenda |
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Finds time to
be available to you |
Is
too busy to spend
quality time |
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Will bless you when you
are led to leave |
Will cut you off if you
are led to move on |
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Prays for you without
ceasing |
Will pray if you ask him |
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Willingly imparts
spiritual gifts and
wisdom |
Doesn't want to lose
(spiritual) advantage |
|
Sees potential gifts,
talents & callings in
you |
Only sees you as you are
now |
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Trusts you to step out
(with room to fail) |
Will not release you for
fear of your failure |
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Isn't afraid to
discipline or correct
you |
Will either avoid
correction or will over
react |
|
Has a heart to restore
the brokenhearted |
Withdraws from high
maintenance children |
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Will pay a debt they do
not owe |
Will hold your debts
over your head |
|
Will fellowship with
other fathers |
Will hide from
accountability to his
peers |
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Moves toward the current
move of God |
Weds you to his beliefs,
past moves |
|
Is
not threatened by your
other relationships |
Tries to control who you
hear - who you serve |
|
Teaches you dependence
on God also |
Keeps you dependent on
him |
|
Teaches you Truth from
God's Word |
Teaches you his
doctrinal bias |
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Has the heart of a
true worshipper of God |
"Attends" or sends you
to a worship service |
|
Is happy when you
succeed more than he |
Is threatened when you
succeed more than he |
|
Has the 'team' concept
of service |
Has a 'golfer caddy'
idea of your service |
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Makes you feel
comfortable / protected |
Threatens to expose you
or attack you |
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Helps, wanting nothing
in return |
Expects something for
helping you |
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Willing to admit his
weaknesses |
Will not admit weakness
or mistakes |
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Is interested in what
you are doing |
Only what he is doing /
his vision |
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Is relationship oriented
and sensitive |
Is task oriented |
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Communicates well and
listens well |
Feels bothered and put
upon by you |
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Hears God and leads by
the Holy Spirit |
Influences or controls
for his own agenda |
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